About

about billy About

Who Is Billy?

I am a Scottish man who has lived in Turkey since 2006. When I was younger I wanted to be a rock star but my lack of musical talent held me back. Then I got into Bill Hicks and thought I could be a comedian or rather I though I could rant against the injustices of the world and help others see the truth that I so obviously knew inside out by reading a couple of David Icke books.

I was funny now and again but not as often as the promoters who had given me stage time had hoped.  They told me if I wanted to get political I should either write some funny political stuff or start a regular meeting at the docks. 

Instead, I moved to Turkey because I have a Turkish wife and it is where I could get away from the pull of the stage as there are not too many comedy clubs here because they are happy anyway due to the fact it doesn’t rain every day. 

So to make a life for myself in Antalya I decided to build a website to promote the area and try and sell my friends properties on the back of it but as with a lot of best laid plans the credit crunch put an end to that little dream.

Around this time my wife had a really bad accident and my mother in law moved in with me. To say this was stressful would be like saying that the first world war was handbags at fifty paces. 

To try and escape the reality of my miserable existence I thought it would be a good idea to do a one man show at the Edinburgh Festival cause it seemed like less of a pressure cooker and I needed something to look forward to. Apparently, once you can make an audience laugh it is like Heroin except Heroin is easier to quit.

However, after not appearing on stage for 4 years lets just say it was a bit of a leap playing an hour a day to two men and a dog in the middle of what I called ‘The Bermuda Triangle’.  Yep, I should have taken a look at the map when I booked the venue cause it was the student area of town and they were all back at their parents for the summer. Oh well, you live and learn…..hopefully.

So I gave up comedy and came back to Turkey with my tail between my legs. I made another huge effort on my Antalya site by upgrading it to a wordpress blog and trying to contact hotels to get sponsorship but my heart wasn’t in it.

I then tried to do a site for a comedy character I created called Nob Stewart who was really just an extreme version of me with a wig on. Some people actually liked this character but deep down I knew I wasn’t happy and the day came when I decided to ‘move on artistically’ from it and so buried that website after working on it for two months.

Because I am a dogged character or rather that I have no other options I have built this website to showcase some of my writing and videos. I hope you feel sorry for me and leave a comment or two if you like anything as I have nothing else in life to hope for but if you are an agent and want to help get me out of a severely big rut then I am open to offers.

One part of me thinks I have something to say about the world as I have read all kinds of shit and when I get drunk it comes out of me in floods and another part of me thinks I should learn Turkish and get a real job.

I did try to give Blogging a bash as well and learn about Social Media and all that but let’s just say I got a bit disillusioned by that whole scene but I will maybe do some product reviews or something in the vain hope I can earn enough to pay for my childs fluoride free toothpaste every three months.

Who knows what the future hold but I will keep you up to date in my blog if you are remotely interested.  I also make videos and interviews of my friends which you can see on the site and if you have anything of interest you are doing let me know and if I like it I will make a post about it.

Oh aye, ye can follow me on Twitter if ye like, any token gestures are gratefully recieved.

Thanks for taking the time to read this and good luck to yourself in whatever you are doing in this mad mental thing we call life.

Cheers the noo

Billy