Billys Website

Friends Introduction

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Nobs Introduction

Welcome to ma Friends section.  Along ma travels a’ hiv picked up a few interesting aquaintences who perform in some way and sometimes a’ make videos ae their gigs. 

A’ wiz goin’ tae show ye the whole gig even if it lasted ower 10 minutes but a’ hiv decided tae edit these doon tae jist show the best bits fae their set cause a’ lot ae ma pals dinnae need me showin’ them dyin’ on their arse for mare their twa minutes. 

Whit, a’ am sayin’ is the quality in these acts will vary fae totally fucking awesome tae absolute shite. A’ fluctuate between the twa masel quite a lot cause ye never ken whit will happen on any given nicht.

The yins that a’ ‘hink are totally awesome will get the Nob Double Thumbs Up Seal Ae Approval so ye’d be advised tae check they yins oot first as they will hae some gaurantee ae quality. 

That’s no’ tae say the rest are complete pish. They aw winnae be any’way, it’s really jist a bit ae patter tae make the website mare interestin’.

The main ‘hing is that a’ hiv talented buddies and a’ would like tae expose them tae a wider audience and seein’ as hoo they never spent $8,000 on buildin’ a website and marketin’ it, a’ thought a’ would like tae gie them a leg up, if a kin.

These videos will hae been recorded in various venues throughout Scotland but hopefully in the future a’ kin go tae Montreal and record ma new Buddy Chris Rock’s new set but we’ll hae tae wait an’ see aboot that yin.

As it will take a bit ae ma time tae edit these a’ ‘hink yin a week would be plenty.  A’ hiv got a highly active social life tae maintain, ye ken? 

A’ suppose if ye are a fan ae mine on facebook then we are technically friends, so if ye are then feel free tae send me any live performance ae yer aen crap an’ who know’s maybe it will make it intae ma thumbs up section and make ye and instant superstar!  Got tae be worth a shot, eh?

Cheers the noo

Nob

Animal Instincts

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Zombies awaken from the state you live in
Shut down third eyes don’t know where to begin
Wouldn’t you like to win back your soul?
Why don’t you make that an achievable goal?

Our animal instincts
Knew how to survive
But now in the future
They will help us to thrive

Creatures frozen by the yarns that you spin
Are you still doing time for the original sin?
What did you learn from your lives in the past?
Why don’t you admit that this life you did cast?

Our animal instincts
Knew how to survive
But now in the future
They will help us to thrive

Golden fish stolen from the tank that you swim
Breathe slowly and calmly you will not cave in
Where do your feelings urge you to go?
Why don’t you start there then go with the flow?

Our animal instincts
Knew how to survive
But now in the future
They will help us to thrive

Suzie Hay Live

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Let me give ye’s the backgroond tae this performance. Ye see, there wiz a caberet competition in ma local bar in Fa’kirk called Stars In The Bar and as a’ had nothing better tae dae that nicht a’ thought a’ wuid gie it a go.

After all a’ had nothin’ tae lose and the winner of the competition wiz gonna get a Caberet contract so although a’ didnae ‘hink a’ had much chance ae that a’ thought if a’ done a’richt a’ might get a blowjob oot ae it fae some really drunk bird who wiz loves dirty talk.

So a’ bought masel a new leapord skinned coat and a’ wiz off. A’ got through the heat and then the semi-final (above) wiz a breeze.

A’ got intae the final but a cannae mind much aboot it cause a’ had aboot 4 beers and a couple ae spliffs afore it. Needless tae say a’ didnae win or get a blowjob but fae this competition ma singing career wiz born.

Fair do’s it hasnae went very far as yet but ye never ken. That’s why I keep plodding awa’. Yin day maybe a’ will make it big across the pond. Ye kin aye’ways dream eh?

So whit aboot you lot? Have any ae ye’s ever entered a caberet or karaoke competition? Hoo did it gae? Dae any o’ yoo’s hae dreams aboot makin’ it big or even jist earning yer crust on the Karaoke circuit of yer local toon? If so, why no’ tell uz aboot it below and if ye hae a video ae it on YouTube even better, pit the link in there.

Cheers the noo

Nob

Suzie Hay Lyrics

Wake up Suzie I think I got something tae give tae you
I’m as hard as wood and I ken you love a morning screw
You ken you’ve never refused, in fact I feel I’m being used
Oh Suzie, I dinnae want tae cry anymore
You shag me to the bone then you tell me to go home
Take ma money but don’t tell me you’re a whore

My salty cum when it’s in your face makes you earn yer wage
You’re careful not to let in run in your eyes you say it stings
You are one sexy fox, you love it up your dungbox
Oh Suzie, I dinnae want tae cry any more
You shag me to the bone then you tell me to go home
Take ma money but don’t tell me you’re a whore

All I needed was a hole to stick ma willy in
You provided several and became my doting lover, you ended my drought
All we did was stay in the bed
While you gave me some bloody good head
Oh Suzie, I dinnae want tae cry any more
You shag me to the bone then you tell me to go home
Take ma money but don’t tell me you’re a whore

I suppose I could read dirty books when I’ve got the horn
Or extend my sexual cue and make a living out of amateur porn
Or find myself a new girlfriend, who will spit polish my bell end
Oh Suzie, I wish I’d never cum in your face
You made a sexual deviant out of me
Now I’m as perved as a man can be
You stole my wallet but I love you anyway

Oh Suzie, oh Suzie darling, why did you do it?
Why did you nick my wallet?
Why did you break the bond of trust that existed between us?
We had a bond of trust you know
After a put my dick in your arse and shot all over your face
I thought we were united together forever
But you stole my wallet
You didn’t need to do that Suzie
I would have gladly run all my credit cards up to the max just  for you
I would have remortgaged ma hoose
Just tae get another taste of your juicy pussy